It is dark and dreary outside today in Vancouver. Inside my chest I feel the same way. I feel so empty inside it honestly doesn't feel worth living. I have nothing in my life that should be making me sad. In fact I should be celebrating a healthy marriage, two children who've decided to clean their rooms today, a vacation to Asia in less than a week, and a day off tomorrow. Absolutely nothing wrong in the least.
Then why the fuck did I curl up in a ball this morning naked on the bathroom floor before forcing myself to take a shower? The answer of course is this is the reality of bad PMS. Technically the emotional irrationally depressed part called PreMenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). You know I don't usually get all doctory on my blog but today will be an exception.
PMDD is very common. Severe PMS and the teasing that women are bitches during "that time of the month" have become cliche yet there is truth to it. It's no joke when you want to crawl into a hole and die or that some women actually become psychotic.
This is a chemical balance that is worsened by hormonal changes. It is a time when coffee isn't enough to get you going, your husband and kids irritate the hell out of you, and your happy pills don't seem to be working. The tendency towards mood disorders but specifically PMDD is strongly inherited. Good that my mom finally told me last year that she went through the same thing too before she finally had the hallelujah of menopause. Women with PMDD also tend to become much more depressed or anxious during pregnancy and the postpartum period.
|Okay obviously he doesn't have bad PMS but|
you look up despair and New Moon you get naked Edward.
I'm writing this post to hopefully help some of you out there who may be going through the same thing. I am lucky enough to have the medical insight to acknowledge that indeed I feel like crying all day today because of PMDD. Even that is still not enough to actually make me feel better but it helps me take a deep breath before I yell at the kids. Also having had this every month since I was a teenager also helps me figure out what's going on.
The hardest thing is that no one can reach the conclusion that they have PMDD except the woman suffering because the man who suggests that you're having a hormonal day will have his head or balls ripped off.
What can you do to make it better? Well realizing you are having it is the biggest step. If you don't know you're just really hormonal then your husband who was an angel yesterday will suddenly irritate the hell out of you just by breathing and you won't recognize why. Getting out of the house and forcing yourself to exercise on those specific days (even though you don't even want to get out of bed) will help take the edge off.
|Find someone to hug you super tight|
Mr. TC knows now that for me the best thing is I will spend the whole day asking for really tight hugs from him and the kids. Sometimes his hugs heal me and push away the feelings that I am falling apart. I spend the day tickling the kids and seeing them laugh also helps me forget the nasty feelings.
|Off to run away with Rob now|
Okay sorry for the medical rant but it's cathartic and helps me focus the negativity into something sort of productive.
How are the mobile blogs working out? So far these are the iphone app icons I've got.
I am hoping for more twilight bloggy icons guys. Since I am sort of on vacation again very soon I'm actually offering if people want me to help them set up their mobile blogs I'd be happy to do it. All I ask in return is a nice thank you :) And if you ever get to meet Rob you have to bring me with you.